Working hard is hardly working

Here is what's going to happen, you are going to wake up at 6:02 AM to something that your Flipclock App refers to as "Pink Noise" which is actually this horrible post-apocalyptic ocean sound. You will be confused, having just been in the middle of a dream in which you have lied to your mother about buying a cookbook that uses humus in all of its recipes. You will hit snooze and sleep until 6:12 AM. Then you will have to pee. You will go the bathroom and not flush after, because you are afraid of waking your roommate. You will then select a program on Netflix to watch instantly. You will watch it until approx. 6:50 AM. Then you will leave it on in the background while haphazardly trying to put on makeup. Around 7 AM you will hear your roommate get into the shower, and you will wonder why she gets up so early. You will get dressed and get in your car. You will either go to Starbucks or not, depending on how much you hate life that day. When you get to work you will perform all necessary tasks as slowly as possible... This is because you have entered a worm hole in which time is infinitely stretched. You will begin proof-reading evals. You will do this for four hours. Then you will eat. Then you will do it for another four hours. Your co-workers will develop a joke that you are too loud in the office because you are very soft-spoken. They will find this joke hilarious.  
                                               ...
The work itself is not difficult. I try to do my school work, but am paranoid about my coworkers busting me, despite the fact that they have never given me any indication that they have even noticed.
I met a girl in my classes who is also from Tucson, and she also went to the U of A. We discovered our mutual geek status (statuses?) by talking about the AMC series "Breaking Bad". I have watched that so much that I believe I now know how to make 99 percent pure blue meth. Anyhow. I was given 90 dollars for my birthday and am unsure how to spend it. Survival is rough out here. I'm telling you, it's like expensive, bro.
I have been crazy-emotional lately. No idea why except if you factor in how hard this job sucks. BUT... I got my first grad-school midterm back and I got an A-! I know, right? I was happy except I fully expected to earn a solid A. I studied, and I don't usually study. After that, I immediately had to take a second midterm for another class, and I can't help but think I flunked it. I know I missed at least 5 questions by getting Freud's phallic and latent phases confused. That's my life: one achievement in a series is always followed by a reversal of fortune. What did that mean? Idk! Dis my blog! I bloggs what i wants! TTYL. PEACE.

In the year 2000

So much has happened and I don't much feel like talking about any of it. So little of what interests me is ever interesting to other people. For instance, here's what interests me today:
1. Contour Memory Foam Pillow (THX TARGET STORES)
2. Season 3 of "24" on Netflix Instant Streaming (TONY&MICHELLE 4EVA R.I.P.)
3. The new blu-ray player I got for super cheap (YAY better late then never)
4. Online dating w/ possible serial killerz.
5. Job Applications (k these dn't really interest me -just need to make dat $$$)

I mean, what person has just now in the year 2011 got a blu-ray player and started watching 24? Am I still in the early 2000's or what?
My roommate's in friggen Europe eating cucumber sandwiches. I've got the place all to myself ... Is it weird that I tried on her clothes? I'm not trying to be her exactly. I'm trying to kill her and wear her skin. It puts the lotion in the bucket lol j/k!! Is it even worse that I wore one of her shirts to class and took some of her vitamins and sprayed myself w/ her perfume? I know. I need help.
I'm actually that f-ed up character from the movie "The Roomate" -so predictible. I'm gonna Mr. Ripley her! If you don't know what the hell I'm saying, you need to watch movies more.

Trying to find a quality guy online isn't easy. If the dude has more than one picture on his profile, chances are he will look like two completely different people in each of them. You have to try and guess which one's the real picture or if either of them are real pictures. I started chatting with this complete stranger called 'Chad' -which is a horrible name, but he seemed ok. Then this other dude quoted "Wayne's World" to me which is practically the quickest way to my heart. So I hope to be meeting them in person reeeeal soon.
And if I get killed by one of them, you all will know that this 'Chad' is behind it or else a guy that's seen a Mike Myers movie. Yeah, just tell that to the police -I'm sure they'll find the killer.

I'm supposed to be romantic because libras are romantic. It's just hard to be real passionate when there's no drama or high-stakes/life&death type stuff happening that would thrust two people together. Like when Tony says to Michelle that he wants to take her away from CTU so that they can be together and stop putting their lives at risk. And finally, as the music swells, she agrees, weeping and clutching him. But of course he's got to run tatical during a field mission and he gets taken hostage, at which point, Michelle is forced to either give in to the terrorists demands or watch a live-feed of her husband getting knifed. Anyhow, it's really intense. They survive all that only for Michelle to go and get blown up by a car-bomb in season 5 while carrying Tony's child. 

And I'm sure things like that happen in real life all the time.        NOT.    Are you mental?

Like imagine two file clerks typing emails behind their desks and one of them says to the other, "Oh, Gina...I just want to take you away from all this! I want to start a new life with you."
And she responds, "Yes, Berry! I love you, and I want you to be my life now. This has all been so dangerous. It's no way to live!!"

That would never happen! Gina would be like, "WTF are you talking about Berry? We just work in a boring-ass office and we're out of toner."

idk. I'm gonna go sleep in my roommate's bed now. Goodnight internet.

First Impressions- Nice to Meet U OC

Okay so apparently I’m doing this, just as no one’s giving a crap about blogging anymore. I have a hard time writing about reality. Especially mine. I think I’ll do that “stream of consciousness” type deal where I just say whatever comes to mind. Enjoy.

Alright. So here I am in the OC. I know, right? Totally the American dream sunny California movie stars and orange trees and shit. Not really but sorta. It is beautiful here. Everyday. I could see a crack addict getting high in an alley and think, this is a beautiful day. The air is cool and it’s always green and these amazing flowers are everywhere. And everyone is so NICE. I mean it!

If someone passes you, chances are they’ll wave hello. Even the muggers apologize for frightening you!

They’re like, “I’m so sorry …It’s just I can’t make rent without mugging people. Here, no! Keep the wallet and I.D. and stuff I just need your eight dollars and credit cards. Thank you! I’m so sorry. This isn’t a gun it’s just my hand in my pocket with my index and middle fingers pointed at you! I don’t want you to get PTSD or anything after I leave. Okay, thanks again! Love the AMEX!”

JK. I haven’t been mugged lately. I’ve barely gone anywhere; I have HBO. (6 months for FREE) I’ve watched Psycho, The Princess Bride, The Town, Say Anything, Live Free or Die Hard, Splice, Wallstreet…wait, wait, wait…

I have to talk about Live Free or Die Hard for a second. Okay. So this movie is one of those films with a symbiotic combination of elements I enjoy despite how stupid it makes me feel. Like for example a movie with Tim Olyphant and Justin Long is automatically too good. Trust me. And Tim’s like hacking into the Pentagon with his Blackberry and kidnapping people. My favorite part was when he shot Justin Long in the knee and I screamed, “NO!” as if to prevent it.

Anyhow -- and The Town OMG! I want to date a guy who comes home with blood on his knuckles and I say, “Honey, what happened?” and he goes “Nothin. Just fightin.” And I say, “With who?” and he’s like, “No one! Stop hassling me! Guy’s lucky he just got tuned up.”

 It’s terrible because every time my roommate Kimberly turns the corner she sees me watching TV with chip crumbs on my chest, hypnotized. She’s running around doing all of these super productive tasks like making dinner from scratch with organic vegetables and “networking” and being generally energetic. I cannot tell you how bad this makes me look in comparison.      

 I mean we’re both in graduate school and she’s doing school work all the time and I’m watching Splice despite the fact that it completely disgusted me in the first five minutes of the opening scene. I’m not too concerned about my classes. That’s the thing. When the semester ends and we both have the same grades, Kim’s gonna be thinking to herself, “What the hell? But she watched TV all the time!” I’ve been doing it all my life. I have a system and I’m not about to abandon it now.

And … minor complication … I’m kinda in love with Kim’s boyfriend. I didn’t even know she had one for the longest time. She never said word one and all of a sudden, dude comes over with flowers for both of us. What a nice young man. He’s a screenwriter. Kim’s in the Film Program and yet somehow has not seen any of the movies I have ever mentioned and she’s never once even watched our TV. He came over and we immediately started talking about movies. I showed him my DVD collection. (Kim doesn’t even own a single DVD. I know –she’s a freak.) Anyway…he had seen almost all of them and arranged them in order of his most favorite to least. We talked about directing. We talked about how Fight Club was largely misunderstood. We talked about film script ideas and writing. I’m a writer too though I’m not studying writing at the moment. As you can probably tell from my deteriorated ability to correctly use the English language.

Even more awkwardly … I -of course- decided to tag along and 3^rd-wheel-it with Kim and her BF at the street fair. We walked down the block to meet a new friend of Kim’s from the film program (a plain girl wearing a fedora that had a feather in it). And then we headed down to where the fair was. We found it by following the crowds upon crowds of people acting like the fair was a new Disney attraction.

The whole time, Kim and her fedora friend power-walked a half a mile ahead of her BF and I. I’ve gotta tell you…I didn’t mind. We talked the entire time. He made me laugh -which rarely happens. And okay he’s not bad looking. He said that his outfit was not something he would normally wear but was instead something he wore for Kim’s benefit. He was wearing a Lacoste Shirt with a popped collar and khakis.

I don’t know what to make of that.

Anyhow, blogging isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I can’t fill you in on everything all at once like this. So … more to come.